I intended to use the Duggar way of life to teach a lesson to kids.
I ended up learning a lesson I'll never forget.
The setup came years ago, when I sent an email to Jim Bob Duggar after watching a rerun of 14 Kids and Pregnant Again. In the email, I attached the song called "Names" from the Pond radio program "Googolplextuplits," where Tony the Frog explains the difficulty of naming thousands of frogs at a time.
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Much to my surprise, Jim Bob replied that they are Pond fans.
In the years since, my family has watched 17 Kids and Counting, 18 Kids and Counting and now 19 Kids and Counting. Many times, my wife and I would highlight moments for our kids to see – particularly the way the Duggar siblings treat each other.
I realize it's television. And while adults can fake happiness and tranquility for a time, little kids can't. Not for a moment. If you've ever tried to convince a two-year-old to avoid commenting when Grandma drops a healthy dose of brussels sprouts on their plate, you know what I mean.
Then it hit me… I should do a Pond episode on the way these children relate to each other. And maybe, just maybe, the Duggars could be a real-life example.
I pitched the idea to Jim Bob and he immediately jumped on it. We looked at our calendars and found a suitable recording date.
I got off the phone and realized… that date was fast approaching. Not much time at all.
I had an idea and a green light from the Duggars, but my work load was already unbearable. How can I write this script?
What have I done?
But then God cleared my calendar.
Not with a scalpel, but a bull dozer.
I had one particular project that was taking up a lot of time – and it died suddenly and without notice.
"Have you heard back from them?" my wife asked of the other project.
"No."
"I thought they liked you."
"So did I."
Just like that, I had time to write.
Jim Bob Duggar was kind enough to list a number of concepts and scriptures his family uses to encourage good behavior. I wanted to make sure I made this as close to Duggar reality as possible. After all, what they did appeared to work. Jim Bob was very gracious with his time.
Josiah, Jeremiah and Jason Duggar have some fun while waiting for the rest to record.
The process of writing the script went smoothly. I knew from the beginning how I wanted to frame this: Tony the frog gets captured by a Duggar boy and brought into the house, where he learns a great lesson about how siblings should relate to one another.
Of course, somewhere in between, he makes a big mess of things.
With the script written, my entire family was ready to drive from Atlanta to Arkansas, turning the venture into a mini summer vacation – beginning with a quick trip to Texas to visit good friends.
Then tragedy struck. Michelle Duggar's father was in the hospital with a high chance he wouldn't make it. He lives in Ohio, which means the Duggars might not be in Arkansas when the recording is scheduled. Oh, and 12 Duggars have chicken pox.
We left on the trip anyway. If nothing else, we could use a vacation.
Did I mention I haven't had chicken pox?
While we were in Texas, Michelle's father passed away. Jim Bob gave me details of the travel schedule, which meant they would be gone on the day we record. With all he had on his plate, he still took the time to consider when we could reschedule, an amazingly kind gesture. I also realized this humble man was even more organized than he appears on the show.
With a new date set, we stayed in Texas a few extra days.
As we drove to Arkansas, I prayed this recording would go well and reach kids as well as adults. And I was really hoping I could say a prayer in the studio before the recording began. It just struck me as important.
Then I realized it may be too chaotic for that. 20 kids, including mine, scattered around the studio. TLC was planning to film, so that should add to the difficulty.
On Thursday, June 24th, Jim Bob entered Crisp Recording Studios in Fayetteville and introduced himself to me. Over his shoulder, a man named Jim held a boom microphone and next to Jim Bob another man had a camera in my face.
I was the proverbial deer in headlights.
No matter how much time I had to remind myself the TLC crew would be there with cameras on, I still wasn't prepared. I'm almost certain I didn't handle it with poise. Oh, well.
And in came Duggars. I remember seeing a few little ones run in. Jackson, Johanna, Jason… I'd seen them many times on television, why was I now having trouble remembering who was who?\
The three older teen Duggar girls, Jessa, Jinger and Jill sing the part of birds along with Macy Richards.
Just as I feared, it was a bit chaotic. But not too bad. These are good kids.
Now, I should say, I was a bit stressed about this day. I was working with 17 non-actors that afternoon, with the rest of the Duggars to be added later. Most of those coming before the microphone would be kids – many of them under 10. What if a couple of them simply can't pull this off? What if most can't? I've worked with non-actors before and it usually turns out difficult and the product suffers. And, with non actors, it takes more time. Multiply that by 17.
At this point, I was certain God was pulling this together. So I can handle a little difficulty.
I went into the small booth and we set up the mic, then I came out to get my first Duggar. When I did, Jim Bob suddenly said "Charlie, do you want to say a prayer?"
I looked around and there was no chaos. And it appeared everybody was in that one room. I said a prayer and the moment I began I felt the presence of God there. I worried about how to pull this off, and the worry was lifted. I wasn't in charge. God was.
And he's really good at this sort of thing.
I knew I wanted to start youngest to oldest, figuring the little ones would get antsy in the studio and someone would probably want to give them a break. Everyone around me agreed.
I started with five-year-old Jackson – one of the main characters in this episode. Jackson had at least 15 lines and if he can't pull it off, I'm in big trouble.
Jackson hit his first line like a pro. A really seasoned pro.
"Are you kidding me?" I thought to myself. He's six and I couldn't do better.
Jackson was done rather quickly, zipping through his lines as casually as eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I walked out to find my next Duggar. This is where things got a little embarrassing.
I read so much on them as I wrote the script. I had pictures with their names as I worked on the dialogue. But here they were and I was asking, "Okay, uh, who's the next oldest?"
"Justin" someone quickly told me.
One thing I learned early on about the Duggars, they don't expect you to remember their names.
"What's your name?" I said to one boy. "I'll give you a hint" he replied. "It starts with a J." He was Jedidiah.
I brought Justin in and, much like Jackson, he nailed his lines. As did James and Jason and Jeremiah and Jedidiah. Then I sailed through Joy-Anna, Josiah, Joseph, Jinger, Jessa and Jill. With help from Jill, I got a little noise from Jordyn-Grace and Johannah. That way, I can at least get them in, albeit in a small way.
Jim Bob was the last one of the day and he also performed quite well.
Later, Josh helped record nearly every Duggar I didn't manage to get earlier – Michelle, Jennifer, Jana and John-David.
Oh, and he recorded himself, along with Anna and Mackynzie.
As often happens, TLC's sound man Jim Goodwin was quite accommodating as he was surrounded by kids. From left to right, Joy-Anna Duggar, Macy Richards, James Duggar, Jim Goodwin and Jackson Duggar.
Jill sent me audio clips of Josie and Jennifer that worked for the crazy scene where everybody is trying to catch Tony the Frog at the dining room table.
That's 24 Duggars in all. I was surprised at Josh's knowledge of all things audio. Without his help, this would have been tremendously more difficult. Like his father, he has a we'll-get-it-done attitude and, sure enough, he gets it done.
After the day's recording, my goal was complete. I could go home with results that exceeded not just my expectations, but my hopes. The kids were great, the session went smoothly and Josh and Jill would help get the rest.
But the trip didn't end there. Neither did the learning.
We were invited to spend some time at the Duggar house, a large home, built by the Duggar hands, filled with kids and scriptures on the walls.
There is no TV screen in their oversized living room. The kids played, and they played hard. They rode bikes, shot baskets, threw footballs and swung on the rope swing. Our final night there, Jessa, Jinger and Jill practiced on their violins. It was a slice of heaven. My wife and I wanted to sit there and listen forever. It was a shame the night had to end.
My family spent parts of three days at the Duggar house. I never heard a fight break out. I never heard one kid yelling at another.
Well, once. It was one of my kids.
For my wife and me, this was a parenting clinic. A how-to in a world where kids are swallowed up by culture and peer pressure.
Not these kids. They are happy. They are secure. They are smart. They are well-informed.
When I was researching the Duggars – wanting to make sure I wrote their personalities correctly, I read some of the junk out there. In the midst of all the bizarre misinformation on the Duggar family, I remember a few referencing the idea that these kids are missing out.
That couldn't be further from the truth.
My wife and I spent considerable time talking with the older Duggar kids. I'll never forget this moment: Sitting there talking to the three teenage girls in the house, Jill, Jessa and Jinger. And it hit me: These girls are experiencing freedom almost no teenage girl will ever see.
Freedom from the angst and peer pressure teenage girls face daily. Freedom from petty games, the cruelty, and constant barrage of contradictory messages. Freedom from the lure of sins that carry a lifetime of consequences.
Free to be themselves.
Happy, smart, beautiful, Godly.
This is a home dedicated to raising children to know and love God. And it's so risky to do that while letting outside forces compete. Television shows, even commercials, contradict what you teach your kids. And it does so all day long.
Radio stations do it, too. Songs do it. Movies do it. Schools do it.
How can your 500 or so words compete with the thousands they'll get from people you wouldn't trust to water you plants, let alone instruct your kids?
I watched their show on TLC and grew to greatly appreciate this family. But a few days with them told me something more.
The Duggars have it right.
